DISCLAIMER: this is an update for all of those who have been by our side, who have said a prayer, sent a good vibe, had us in their thoughts, etc. Thank you all for giving us your love and support. It means the world to me. The following post is written from my point of view. I could never speak for Amelia’s father and I don’t presume to know what he is thinking or feeling. I don’t see him as a villain and would never want Amelia to either. I hope everyday that he is able to let go of our past and put Amelia first.
As many of you know, I have been anxiously awaiting court with Amelia’s father. It was a cloud that constantly loomed over me. It caused a lot of worry and anxiety. Our court date finally came and it has passed. We had most of the parenting plan in place before our court hearing, as we had started out with mediation. The only thing we really were unable to come to an agreement on was a summer schedule, which was the main reason for court recently.
Basically, we both spoke about why we each want the specific schedule that we do (they are different of course- why we haven’t been able to come to an agreement). I was questioned by his lawyer and he by mine. I didn’t enjoy any of this process, at all. It didn’t feel like coparenting. It felt like a battle of sorts.
The day started off stressful. I didn’t sleep well the night before because I felt so much worry and anxiety about the coming day. I had to get myself ready and of course Amelia had to get ready. Luckily my mom helped me out and we were able to find a sitter to watch Amelia during our time at court.
I was running later than I would have liked. Since Amelia has been having overnights with her father she has been very persistent about not leaving the house. Everyday errands have become an ordeal at this point because of Amelia being so fearful to leave the house.
I felt very rushed, but I got there. My mother came with me for support and comfort. I’m really glad she did because Amelia’s father brought his fiancé (which I fully expected him to) and his mother- who I did not expect to see there. Truth be told, it was a little disappointing, seeing her there. I have always been very open with Amelia’s father and his family. Prior to Amelia having overnights with her father, I talked to his parents fairly frequently. In the past, his mother assured me that she was staying neutral and cared for all of us very much. She was there to be questioned and “testify” why her son should be able to have the summer schedule with Amelia that he desires. He is her son, by no means would I want to see her turn against him. What hurt was her assuring me she wants the best for all of us and specifically telling me that she is “not a part of this” and then seeing her get up on the stand and prove otherwise.
Court took several hours and we won’t have an answer for another week or two. It’s going to be a long wait, but I’m relieved its over for now. I know that I did my absolute best and I’ve desperately tried to do the right things for ALL of us. No matter what the court decides in a couple of weeks, it will be out of my control and I know that I have done every possible thing that I could.
There were, of course, parts of court that frustrated me. Questions were asked and speculations made about my character by her father’s side. It’s strange to me that a complete stranger would try to paint me in a bad light. I understand it was his lawyer’s job to present his case and depict him in the best way possible- it wasn’t her personal attack against me. Even knowing that, it still felt wrong.
Sitting there was surreal- Listening to his side and then voicing mine. All I could do was tell the truth and hope for the best. Ultimately, the decision about Amelia’s future is not up to me. It’s up to someone who is not her parent and does not know her. It’s unsettling to say the least.
Moving forward from this, my hope still remains that her father and I be able to get along for Amelia’s sake. I hope her father will put her first and let go of the negative past we share.
